Hi friends! How are you today!! I’ve been sharing a bit from the heart lately, and well, I just can’t move on until it stops weighing so heavy. I hope that’s ok. And please know I’m not changing my blogging focus from Home Decor, but I think it’s important to share multiple aspects that happen to inspire life. Recently I’ve shared with you the importance of “Doing What You Love”. And how vital that is as a creative soul, a person, to make sure that life doesn’t stifle us to the point where we feel uninspired to do much of anything. Then I shared with you the “Nastiest 4 Letter Word” that we can all fall prey to every now and again- FEAR. It’s a dream crusher, and can cripple even the most daring risk taker. There’s another aspect of pursuing your dreams that I haven’t mentioned yet. It’s not quite as crippling as FEAR, but it can still stop us in our tracks if we aren’t careful – the “NAY-Sayers”.
It might not seem like much of a big deal, and we are all aware that we can’t please everyone. In fact I would dare to say that when we create beauty for others, and put it out there for the world to see, we aren’t even thinking that this is for everyone. That everyone will feel equally inspired or awe-struck by our work. In fact for the most part we are just hoping that someone out there will like it. Just one person to say how much they feel inspired by what you created is all the encouragement one needs to go out and create the next biggest thing, take more risks, and find themselves more secure in their passions. When I first started being purposeful in my home decor (meaning not just decorating for myself, and putting my work out there) I will be the first to admit it was nerve racking to say the least. I was so inspired by so many amazing bloggers out there and their beautiful homes they were creating, it inspired me to dust off my dream of becoming an interior decorator and take the plunge. You can read more details about My Story – HERE, but I didn’t start with the expectation that everyone would love my style. I started because I had this passion bubbling up inside me that had to come out or I was going to burst. However I was deathly afraid of the “nay-sayers” in the beginning. I cringed at the thought of a bad comment. A negative remark saying my decor wasn’t pretty enough, or good enough to be sharing on a blog. Thankfully those whispered fears didn’t hold me back and I kept plugging away. Not to say that I haven’t received negative comments, I most certainly have, but they have been few and far between. I recently saw some negative feedback on a very popular photo of mine, and it go me thinking.
After reading so many of your wonderful comments on how you have been encouraged to start pursuing some dreams in your own lives, I wanted to share my tips on dealing with nay-sayers and how I approach them, because let’s be honest, it’s bound to happen. The photo that was recently shared is actually from a home tour 3 years ago, but this was the first “real” home tour I did. I worked my butt off to make sure that it was the most perfect, best to my ability home tour photos I had done to date. I mean my home was not just cleaned, but I staged it just to feel like the beautiful homes you see in magazines. Because those were the types of photos I wanted to produce, and still do! Here is the photo that was shared on another bloggers FB page.
Now this was just one angle from that home tour I did. One shot, and at the time I was really trying to work on my camera angles and taking more photos than just a straight on, whole room view picture. This photo is actually one my most pinned ever photos, but when shared last week asking what people liked about this space, people had no problem saying how they really felt about it.
To be fair there were a lot of people who had nice sentiments about our home, but when something negative is said it tends to speak louder than the rest. Remember how I said I was really trying hard to practice different angles on my photography and work on those skills. One person commented that feels so “heavy, and stuffed/tight instead of light and comfortable”. Maybe they failed to see that this was a tighter shot where I had zoomed in? More comments read:
I have no idea what they think looks like a pillow on my wall? LOL, and remember whatever look you absolutely love is not going to suite everybody else’s taste. Because apparently my farmhouse dining room table looks like a picnic table. This last one I will share with you was my favorite though.
This is not the first time I’ve heard this. I used to contribute to a blog that had an older readership than me. Let me first say I don’t care what age you are, if we are kindred spirits, than we are kindred spirits. Especially when it comes to home decor. But her readers, who just happened to be later on in life than I, would constantly comment about how there was no way a family lived in my house. It’s impossible to have kids with a white couch, and on and on. I get it. To some, it seems impractical, impossible even. But to others, my kindred spirits, you know that a white slip covered couch is totally doable. My friend Rachel (Shades of Blue Interiors) even wrote a fabulous post about why you need a white slip covered sofa – read HERE.
Let me clarify something first. I’m not in anyway, shape or form sharing these negative comments with you so you will feel bad for me, or shower me with compliments about my home. Nope, not at all. I’m sharing these with you to tell you, You are not alone my friend. It happens to everyone, even the amazingly talented Joanna Gaines, who some think she can do no wrong (I’m one of them), and while others just don’t see it that way. There will always be critiques saying you aren’t going to make it, you can’t do it, it’s not good enough, you’re not good enough. And that’s ok. Because I believe what they intend to belittle us with, only makes us stronger.
So here are 5 things I do when the “nay-sayers” appear.
- Put back into context, what they have taken out of context. – Unfortunately in the world of online media, sometimes things can be perceived differently in photos. Like proportions, or layout. For instance, my one nay-sayer who said the space looked stuffed tight? Clearly they did not take into context the angle of the shot the picture was taken in. Or the way things appear, like pillows on your wall? When clearly they are not.
- Take a deep breath. – As simple as it sounds, sometimes our first feelings are that of hurt and feeling the need to defend ourselves. Pausing to take a deep breath helps us re-evaluate the situation and not fly off the handle to defend ourselves, which would ultimately make us look bad. Sometimes I close my computer, put down my phone and walk away. I clean, I workout, I go putz around in my yard, but I remove my thoughts from swirling around what was being said. Plus if you wait long enough, someone else is sure to come to your defense in the land of FaceBook.
- Don’t believe the critiques. – If we believed everything that everyone said to us and about us, I bet we wouldn’t be as far along as we are today. Or maybe you have and your wishing you hadn’t. The time to stop listening and start doing is NOW. Don’t let others talk you out of pursuing what you were meant to do.
- You can’t please everyone. – Back to what I said in my beginning paragraph. Think back to why you started in the first place? What ignited that flame to make you pursue your dream in the beginning? My guess is it probably wasn’t because you had a need to please every person out there. Nope – it was for you. Remember that you can’t please everyone, and don’t conform to the critiques or the nay sayers. There is only one you, everybody else is taken, so offer your best and you will never regret a thing.
- Ignore them. – I know, I know that should be #1. But let’s be honest when somebody doesn’t like something you’ve done, it’s hard to ignore it. It stings a bit. But if we’ve applied a healthy outlook on their negative comments, the best thing to do is just ignore them. All we need to do is keep pursuing our passions and dreams and not worrying about what other people say. There will always be critiques, there will always be nay-sayers, but there will also be those who are deeply inspired by what you do. Don’t forget that!
Thanks for letting me share my heart a bit. I am so overwhelmed to have such an amazing, supportive group of people around me. It’s because of you, and your encouragement that I have continued pursuing my dreams and passions, and for that I am forever grateful!
Stay in touch!