Hi friends! How are you today!! I’ve been sharing a bit from the heart lately, and well, I just can’t move on until it stops weighing so heavy. I hope that’s ok. And please know I’m not changing my blogging focus from Home Decor, but I think it’s important to share multiple aspects that happen to inspire life. Recently I’ve shared with you the importance of “Doing What You Love”. And how vital that is as a creative soul, a person, to make sure that life doesn’t stifle us to the point where we feel uninspired to do much of anything. Then I shared with you the “Nastiest 4 Letter Word” that we can all fall prey to every now and again- FEAR. It’s a dream crusher, and can cripple even the most daring risk taker. There’s another aspect of pursuing your dreams that I haven’t mentioned yet. It’s not quite as crippling as FEAR, but it can still stop us in our tracks if we aren’t careful – the “NAY-Sayers”.
It might not seem like much of a big deal, and we are all aware that we can’t please everyone. In fact I would dare to say that when we create beauty for others, and put it out there for the world to see, we aren’t even thinking that this is for everyone. That everyone will feel equally inspired or awe-struck by our work. In fact for the most part we are just hoping that someone out there will like it. Just one person to say how much they feel inspired by what you created is all the encouragement one needs to go out and create the next biggest thing, take more risks, and find themselves more secure in their passions. When I first started being purposeful in my home decor (meaning not just decorating for myself, and putting my work out there) I will be the first to admit it was nerve racking to say the least. I was so inspired by so many amazing bloggers out there and their beautiful homes they were creating, it inspired me to dust off my dream of becoming an interior decorator and take the plunge. You can read more details about My Story – HERE, but I didn’t start with the expectation that everyone would love my style. I started because I had this passion bubbling up inside me that had to come out or I was going to burst. However I was deathly afraid of the “nay-sayers” in the beginning. I cringed at the thought of a bad comment. A negative remark saying my decor wasn’t pretty enough, or good enough to be sharing on a blog. Thankfully those whispered fears didn’t hold me back and I kept plugging away. Not to say that I haven’t received negative comments, I most certainly have, but they have been few and far between. I recently saw some negative feedback on a very popular photo of mine, and it go me thinking.
After reading so many of your wonderful comments on how you have been encouraged to start pursuing some dreams in your own lives, I wanted to share my tips on dealing with nay-sayers and how I approach them, because let’s be honest, it’s bound to happen. The photo that was recently shared is actually from a home tour 3 years ago, but this was the first “real” home tour I did. I worked my butt off to make sure that it was the most perfect, best to my ability home tour photos I had done to date. I mean my home was not just cleaned, but I staged it just to feel like the beautiful homes you see in magazines. Because those were the types of photos I wanted to produce, and still do! Here is the photo that was shared on another bloggers FB page. 
Now this was just one angle from that home tour I did. One shot, and at the time I was really trying to work on my camera angles and taking more photos than just a straight on, whole room view picture. This photo is actually one my most pinned ever photos, but when shared last week asking what people liked about this space, people had no problem saying how they really felt about it.
To be fair there were a lot of people who had nice sentiments about our home, but when something negative is said it tends to speak louder than the rest. Remember how I said I was really trying hard to practice different angles on my photography and work on those skills. One person commented that feels so “heavy, and stuffed/tight instead of light and comfortable”. Maybe they failed to see that this was a tighter shot where I had zoomed in? More comments read:
I have no idea what they think looks like a pillow on my wall? LOL, and remember whatever look you absolutely love is not going to suite everybody else’s taste. Because apparently my farmhouse dining room table looks like a picnic table. This last one I will share with you was my favorite though. 
This is not the first time I’ve heard this. I used to contribute to a blog that had an older readership than me. Let me first say I don’t care what age you are, if we are kindred spirits, than we are kindred spirits. Especially when it comes to home decor. But her readers, who just happened to be later on in life than I, would constantly comment about how there was no way a family lived in my house. It’s impossible to have kids with a white couch, and on and on. I get it. To some, it seems impractical, impossible even. But to others, my kindred spirits, you know that a white slip covered couch is totally doable. My friend Rachel (Shades of Blue Interiors) even wrote a fabulous post about why you need a white slip covered sofa – read HERE.
Same angle from my Summer Tour of Homes this year.
Let me clarify something first. I’m not in anyway, shape or form sharing these negative comments with you so you will feel bad for me, or shower me with compliments about my home. Nope, not at all. I’m sharing these with you to tell you, You are not alone my friend. It happens to everyone, even the amazingly talented Joanna Gaines, who some think she can do no wrong (I’m one of them), and while others just don’t see it that way. There will always be critiques saying you aren’t going to make it, you can’t do it, it’s not good enough, you’re not good enough. And that’s ok. Because I believe what they intend to belittle us with, only makes us stronger.
So here are 5 things I do when the “nay-sayers” appear.
- Put back into context, what they have taken out of context. – Unfortunately in the world of online media, sometimes things can be perceived differently in photos. Like proportions, or layout. For instance, my one nay-sayer who said the space looked stuffed tight? Clearly they did not take into context the angle of the shot the picture was taken in. Or the way things appear, like pillows on your wall? When clearly they are not.
- Take a deep breath. – As simple as it sounds, sometimes our first feelings are that of hurt and feeling the need to defend ourselves. Pausing to take a deep breath helps us re-evaluate the situation and not fly off the handle to defend ourselves, which would ultimately make us look bad. Sometimes I close my computer, put down my phone and walk away. I clean, I workout, I go putz around in my yard, but I remove my thoughts from swirling around what was being said. Plus if you wait long enough, someone else is sure to come to your defense in the land of FaceBook.
- Don’t believe the critiques. – If we believed everything that everyone said to us and about us, I bet we wouldn’t be as far along as we are today. Or maybe you have and your wishing you hadn’t. The time to stop listening and start doing is NOW. Don’t let others talk you out of pursuing what you were meant to do.
- You can’t please everyone. – Back to what I said in my beginning paragraph. Think back to why you started in the first place? What ignited that flame to make you pursue your dream in the beginning? My guess is it probably wasn’t because you had a need to please every person out there. Nope – it was for you. Remember that you can’t please everyone, and don’t conform to the critiques or the nay sayers. There is only one you, everybody else is taken, so offer your best and you will never regret a thing.
- Ignore them. – I know, I know that should be #1. But let’s be honest when somebody doesn’t like something you’ve done, it’s hard to ignore it. It stings a bit. But if we’ve applied a healthy outlook on their negative comments, the best thing to do is just ignore them. All we need to do is keep pursuing our passions and dreams and not worrying about what other people say. There will always be critiques, there will always be nay-sayers, but there will also be those who are deeply inspired by what you do. Don’t forget that!
Thanks for letting me share my heart a bit. I am so overwhelmed to have such an amazing, supportive group of people around me. It’s because of you, and your encouragement that I have continued pursuing my dreams and passions, and for that I am forever grateful!
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All I know is…I love those rooms!! ☺
I absolutely love your home and your style! I find it very real and comfortable. I had a white slipcover on my Ikea sofa for years and it was the EASIEST slipcover to maintain because you can stick it in the wash with some bleach and presto! It’s clean and looks lovely once again! Oh and I have three kids and a dog! And the pillow on the wall? I don’t get it. No where do I see a pillow on the wall in that photo. Thank you for your hard work!
Totally get where you’re coming from… I was told that having a chandelier in the kitchen is impractical and unnecessary. To some? Sure. To me? Don’t care what people say…. it’s MY home. You’re home is a reflection of you are your amazing talent…. keep on my friend. Keep on….
YEP! So true!!! I love your kitchen chandelier, so you aren’t the only one, as I’m sure others do as well 🙂
Hi Bre, (love your name btw) I have a white Ikea sofa and love it, I’m 66 yrs old and there is no problem with me washing it what with a dog and four grandchildren. I love what you wrote about the “nay sayers” and so glad I read it, it is so very helpful to me, I used to blog and quit posting about two years ago. I just felt like my blog wasn’t up there if you know what I mean. So I’ve been just recently on the fence about starting a new one, you helped me a lot this eveining….Thank you!
PS I love how you decorate always have!
Ohhh thank you so much Rondell!!! So sweet of you to say, and I’m glad this has helped 🙂
I started blogging in 2010 (yes, I am a blogging dinosaur) LOL! But, I stopped blogging last summer and haven’t gone back. I’m now in my late 40’s and I’ve come to realize I don’t give a rip what other people think of me or my home decor. There is enormous freedom in it. I love it and that’s all that matters. I think the worst part of blogging for me was not the negative comments, but putting so much time and effort into a post and not having a single comment. Nothing. Not one. That stung more than anything. I think a negative comment is really just that, but sometimes it can help us as designers to adjust our perspective or look at our rooms in a different way than perhaps we had before. Like the comments you had on the piece between the windows…it’s amazing by the way! I have hung a few large statement pieces in my house and I try to stand back and look at it from a scale perspective and a design eye. I ask myself if the scale of the piece is appropriate for the space (too big or too small) and/or whether it detracts from the other fabulous-ness in the room? At the end of the day all we can do is the best we know how to at the time and learn and grow as we go because that’s what makes the journey worthwhile. I love your style and enjoy reading your blog. Someone in the comments above mentioned the quote from Theadore Roosevelt. Brene Brown made it famous again in her book Daring Greatly. Here is the complete quote: It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Such a great quote!!! I’m jotting it down in it’s entirety. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and perspective!! I love it!
This is very helpful… going to read the blog on Fear now. I’m getting ready to launch my blog, and I love reading things like these!
Hey Bre, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this! I’ve noticed that while Instagram is such a positive place, comments on Facebook tend to skew really negative. It’s almost like it makes them feel superior by pointing out what they would do differently.
Just remember how many thousands of people you’ve inspired (including me!) *hugs*
I have totally noticed that same thing! Thanks so much!! xo
Bay sayers are cheap critics! As TeddyvRosevekt said – it’s the Man in the ring fighting it out who counts!
Everyone else is a bystander.
COntributing to anything takes guts- but that where the glory is. Keep up your own work.
Love that!!
Words of wisdom, sweet girl. I’m 64 years old and you inspire me. I love this space, and I love you.
Thank you so much Carla!! I don’t think age ever plays a factor when kindred-spirits are connected! Thanks so much for being here! xo
I was just looking at the photos, comparing your first to your most recent. The first one is good (I’m one of your pinners!) but the second one is GOOD! The subtle changes you’ve made to your home over the years are lovely!
Ohh thank you so much Joan!! So sweet of you! and thanks for pinning 🙂 xo
I appreciate that you tackled this difficult issue. Your tips on how to handle it were wonderful! (We bought a summer cottage 2 years ago; I have lovingly sanded, painted and estate sale shopped to furnish/ decorate and most of the time my choices are welcomed; but once in a while I hear a negative comment/suggestion from a visiting friend or relative… your article made me feel good that I can decorate for me and my immediate family.)
Thank you for being open with your home and your heart.
I loved this post. Funny thing … I always thought you had one of the most beautiful homes I’ve ever seen. Right up there with Joanna Gaines.
Forget the nay-sayers! I like your style. It’s your home and your perogative to decorate it the way you like. Like you said you can’t please everyone. Keep doing what you love.
I am 68 yrs. old and i love your home and what you do. If its easy for you to clean or not that is none of my business,its your home and if you are kind enough to share,thank you so much.There are some pretty bossy people out there i think i have met quite a few, just pray for them they can’t be every happy. Just know we are all different that is how God made us and smile!
I have always admired your home and your photos. Your style of decorating is very charming to me. I subscribe by e-mail but do not comment most of the time, although I always read your posts. But I just had to comment this time. I am in my late 70’s and still think your white and bright room is totally doable with kids, dogs and husbands! When my kids were little I never put anything up and I had a lot of stuff around. Although I have always had color I would not have been afraid to have some white in my rooms. I think those who say otherwise just don’t want to take the time to make it work. What really gripes me is the comments I hear on TV shows that “this house looks just like my grandmother’s. Yuck!! Like they could never imagine “their beautiful things in there”. I live in a Victorian cottage and I’m sure there are a lot of comments to that effect, about my blog, although never to my face! What matters is that you live what you love and a “nay-sayer” only makes themselves look bad..Have a wonderful week..Judy
Hahaha “pillow on the wall”????? Hilarious! That round wood mirror thingy is perfection! I LOVE It. Your home and style is beautiful.
I’m considerably older than you at 57, but you have good insight and wisdom. I need to take this and apply to my life.
Ohh Thanks Rebecca! My feelings are we are all in this together 🙂 xo
Have always loved your house! Have it saved for referance, love your blog. Terri
Thanks Terri 🙂
people that complain tend to be insecure. For fun, wouldn’t it be nice to see their homes? I also wonder what the percentage is of people who read/look and don’t comment. It doesn’t mean they don’t have favorable thoughts, they just don’t put themselves out there.
For this reader, I am inspired and I think it is lovely.
Well…..I am old enough to have gone through several decorating fads in my life time..However, this is by far one of my most favorite and that I why I follow young women like you. I love the sense of style with all the creativity that goes along with it. There will be hiccups along the way of life but this is one that will make you grow and go forward. People come from all walks of life and apparently the ones that criticize had a bad day. DO NOT let this stop you from being who God made you to be.This older lady LOVES your style….
So true Kathleen!! Thanks so much!
lovingly stated
Thank you for this article. It’s good to know how to deal with negative comments.
Just wanted to say your home is lovely and I love that “big flower thing” on the wall!!
he he thanks Janet!!!
oh dear, I get this too. I would love to delete about the first three years of my blogging journey, but at the time, we liked it enough to share. I agree you cannot please everyone all of the time. But some comments sting a bit. My personal favorite from my photos was…. “This is my dream house, but it’s decorated like my worst nightmare.” My final thoughts, if you don’t enjoy it, unsubscribe. But it is not blog readers that act like that. It is when the photos it take from the post and shared “anonymously” in design groups. Then it is open season on your spaces. Not fun, be nice folks! Btw, I love it and your style… ♥♥♥
I love your home. I’ve enjoyed seeing how you’ve changed over the years. The one thing I’m always happy to see is the wood mirror between the windows! You can’t please everyone, but you definitely have a following of kindred spirits, including me.
I don’t believe that I have ever left a comment here on your blog, but this morning your words have really spoken to me. I wanted you to know that you, and your beautiful home, have been an inspiration to me.
I have followed you here on your blog for years, and because of you, and some of your very talented blogger friends, I have found/changed to a more authentic decorating style, that pleases me to no end.
As my momma always said, “You can’t please everyone, so you may as well please yourself.” In doing so, like minded people, who enjoy what you post, and how to decorate, will continue to be inspired by what you do.
I just recently joined Instagram, after some gentle nudging by my friends, and I have yet to post any pictures of my lovely little brick cottage, because everything isn’t “perfect”. I will definitely keep these last few blog posts in mind, when I hit the negativity wall!
Keep on doing what your doing girlfriend, cause the nay’sayers are probably just armchair decorators too afraid to take their first step.
That is so awesome to hear Jenny!! I am so happy for you, and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment 🙂 Nice to meet you! xo
Your room is picture perfect and one of my favorite images ever!! Tho critics have different tastes that I will NEVER understand. Ticking stripe pillows are ” boring “?? Never!!!
Hi Bre! That “flower mirror thing” that people referred to as a negative in your fun cozy living room is a statement of your very own! I always know your room from pics on Pinterest before I even know it’s you!
It is YOUR home and is a reflection of your life, NOT theirs! And if they don’t like your style then they certainly don’t have to look at your blog! Our homes are suppose to be reflections of us,a safe haven from the world around us! You are a brave woman to open up your home and be critiqued so harshly at times! I personally think your home is adorable!
Have a great weekend!
Becky
Thanks so much Becky! I feel the same way 🙂
Just my two cents worth, Bre. That “flower thing” on your wall was the first thing that caught my eye, and got me wanting to read your blog. Still is my favorite. Just you be you, and we will all be happy to follow.
Thanks so much 🙂
Oh Bre , Yours is THE most beautiful home. Wish i could visit . Alas I am in Sydney , Australia. Not a hope . Keep doing what U do. Creating loveliness. xxx
Well, I’m certainly “later in life” than you, but I absolutely love your home. There are several areas I have tried to duplicate in my own home, and I drool over some of the others ? I think home decor falls into the thought of “to thine own self be true.” Enjoy your home and family!
Thanks so much Ann!
Great advice for all of us. Don’t even pause…jsut move forward through it is my motto. I enjoy your blog posts!!
Thanks so much Laurie!! I completely agree 🙂
Hi Bre,
When I saw the mirror between the windows I thought it was so pretty! If I remember correctly, your readers wanted to know more about it! I love it because it is different! I feel that some people who criticize are just jealous and want to make you feel badly! You are a beautiful young lady, and I love your blog! By the way, I am hoping to get a white slip covered sofa as soon as our Ikea store opens! I would rather see the dirt and stains on the white slip covered sofa that can be washed clean, instead of sitting in who knows what for the entire life of a sofa!
Blessings
Thank you so much Shelly! And fingers crossed for you owning a white slip covered sofa soon!
God tells us not to fight evil with evil, but I would love to see all those nay-Sayers homes? Lol, bet not 1/2 as nice as yours, and I hate to sound even worse, but jealousy, root of a lot of evil! Chin up, march on, you do a great job and I love your blog and your taste!
LOL! Thanks so much Kim 🙂
Excellent post, Bre. I hope you have a lovely weekend. Cheers, Ardith
I think what people should say, if they must, is something like “if this were my house I would…..”. But it is your house, and you do what you like. Sometimes we need to sift through the comments, keep what’s worth keeping, and blow the rest away.
I don’t love everything in every blog, but for the most part I am very inspired by them. That’s why I follow them.
Keep up the good work-you have a lovely home!
I agree 🙂 Thanks Kim!
Bre,
I love your cozy home! IT looks very comfortable…even with the white slipcovers! I have white slipcovers too..and 3 dogs and grandchildren! It is so easy to throw them in the wash! What is the big deal. Boy you have some nasty comments on your blog!! IT would be hard not to take them seriously. I for one love reading your blog with all your decor and ideas. KEEP it up!
So awesome Jill!! Thanks so much 🙂